My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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