Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize