Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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