His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
is it fun? or sober?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
