it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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