I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize