when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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