Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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