she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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