he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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