Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
