I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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