doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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