I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
