You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The uberlube is also flammable
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
