He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
