Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
