Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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