I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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