Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize