The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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