every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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