I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize