How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
