both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
