dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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