once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
