Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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