Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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