Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
NoShamevember. You game?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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