Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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