And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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