Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
