I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
