Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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