I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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