I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You dont lie about slip and slides
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
