i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
