dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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