very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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