He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
