babies were throwing up all over the place
I cut my penus on the lid.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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