the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
