thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
