5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Houston, we have a blender
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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