Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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