Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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