just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
