the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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