i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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