these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
