Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My life is pants optional.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
