thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
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No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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