North Korea, Best Korea!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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