if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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