I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
