I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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