the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
