You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
