Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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