Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
