She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
